Throw out the schedule!

Most people who know me, know how passionate I am about breastfeeding and really advocating the benefits of it to others. It was also something I knew I would do as a mother. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed them for many of the reasons most of you have been beaten over the head with for a number of years. I was mostly concerned about the bond I would have with my children through this, and it really is one of the core ways I have bonded with them. What I didn't or couldn't realize at the time was just how bonded it would make me, and how much of a desire it would give me to meet their every need. So, it is really difficult for me to witness others that parent differently and in a way is truly detrimental to a child. This happened to me today at Ava's ballet class.

There is a mother of another student in her class that has a new baby only two and half months old. The mother seemed to be doing things very much along the lines of what I feel passionate about as a mother. She has worn her on a number of occasions in what appears to be a homemade mei tai sling minus the strap padding--very simple and functional. We have chatted a bit over the last month about how she is breastfeeding and what not. Because of these things, it shocked me with what witness this morning.

The mother picked up her baby and held her to her chest which immediately set the baby off with her rooting reflex. Now, amongst my group of friends, that is the point where you would see a boob whipped out and popped in a baby's mouth. Very natural, and a happy baby as a result. She did not react this way. I laughed and said, "Oh, she's hungry...aww...". To which she responded, "Oh, no. It isn't time to eat. She just ate and is not getting anymore." She held the baby away from her, and the baby immediately began to fuss and cry. She responded with by sticking the pacifier in her mouth.

I was a bit shocked at first with her reaction, and as the baby continued to fuss, my body actually began to react. I got that tingly feeling as my let down began to kick in. All I wanted to do was yell, "PLEASE FEED THE BABY!". I can guarantee the baby would have nursed herself calm immediately and drifted off to sleep. Instead, she continued to fuss and fuss until passing out asleep. Poor baby.

This just really feeds my passion to advocate for breastfeeding and, beyond that, for informed breastfeeding. There is a drive, particularly in the USA and with advocates from the Ezzo Babywise camp, to get babies on a schedule for everything like sleep and feeding. It has become a sign of good parenting if your child sleeps "through the night" and doesn't take up your whole day feeding. I suppose this is simpler for a formula fed child, but it is really a bad idea with a breastfed baby when you don't feed on demand or cue.

Not only is scheduled feeding dangerous by not sufficiently nourishing a baby the way they need and can lead to growth issues like failure to thrive, but it interrupts the attached bond between a mother and a child that comes by tuning into your baby's needs and meeting it. Babies don't understand how time works and that their hunger is not convenient for you. Yes, they are selfish. That is because their only concern is survival. Sorry that can't be scheduled. When that need is not met, it certainly does not build the baby's trust in their parent.

Believe me, nursing your baby on cue and being attached will not lead to a dependent child that won't leave their mother's side as seems to be the argument for forcing babies to be independent from birth. I have breastfed three children now. Two of them are still nursing. My oldest weaned successfully on her own and is now fiercely independent. I believe that was directly resulted from our strong attachment that created a secure child. My second child that is still nursing has always been a bit more clingy than her older sister. She is even beginning to come out of her shell and demand her independence. She knows she can always come right back for the comfort of nursing whenever she needs it. It is a beautiful thing. I think every baby...and mother deserves that.

If you would like more information about breastfeeding on demand you can check these links:
http://www.fix.net/~rprewett/evidence.html
http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com/schedules.html
http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/nbreastfeed/0,,3wvp,00.html
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-ppbreastfeed&msg=28980.3
http://www.breastfeed.com/articles/issues-for-mom/right-on-cue-2757/

Slingin' it

I am constantly on the hunt for the perfect sling. I have tried so many different kinds. I have been hooked on my Hotslings for quite some time now. They have been my must have baby item since Leila was an because I despised the stroller. It just never seemed to work for us. Either is was too large for whatever I wanted to do or she screamed her head off the second I sat her in it. She loved to be carried, so that is exactly what I did. That is when my search began.

I started with the Baby Björn but found it to be the most painful contraption for my back. You know that line from Knocked Up where Seth Rogan's character asks Katherine Heigl's character if they will ever be as happy as the people on the Baby Björn box? Yeah, I can safely say no not as long as you are wearing that stupid thing. Anyway, I think I wore it twice before retiring it to my closet until my mom's nutty neighbor mentioned wanting one to wear her tiny chihuahua in. I was more than happy to donate it to her for her dog. Not long after that, Ava began walking, and I gave up looking for solutions.

When Leila came along, I was thrilled to discover the world of slings. I did a ton of research on them but really got no where as far as knowing which kind of sling would be best for me. I finally decided to try the very approachable and non-threatening pouch sling. I came across the Hotslings website that was just gaining momentum at the time and found they had gorgeous fabrics. That had me sold and I purchased my first sling. I absolutely fell in love with it from the moment I put her in it and was able to get around town with a happy baby. That certainly made for a happy mommy.

Then one day, something tragic happened. I came home from a day out on the town and was putting away my things when I noticed that my sling had gone missing. I immediately began to panic feeling as if I had literally lost my third arm. I actually cried over the loss. Daniel was so sick of hearing me moan about after only a few days that he ordered me a new one and had it shipped overnight. Ahhhh, the world was right again.

Through my playgroup, I have been able to try out a number of different types of slings from rings slings to the more structured ones, like the Ergo. I really wanted to find a mei tai to use, but the ones I tried never seemed to fit on my narrow shoulders correctly and kept sliding off. I have been so hesitant to order one online for fear that I would have the same issue. I really needed to find something that supported the baby's weight on both of my shoulders.

Well, I finally decided to bite the bullet this morning and order a wrap. I am so excited for this now. I ordered a Wrap 'n Wear sling in black and got a super deal on it. The wrap is the only type of sling I have not had a chance to try out, but I have faith that it will work for me. I will keep you posted.

Officially in countdown mode!

I had my 34wk check on Monday with my dr. I can't believe I am this far along already. It seems like yesterday when Daniel and I decided to try for another baby. Anyway, I had another ultrasound to check on the baby's growth and to make sure my crazy contractions were not being productive. They aren't thankfully. It also looks like the baby is a great size. They are estimating her weight to be around 5lbs 7oz right now. Oh, and I also had them double check that she is still a girl. I saw her parts unmistakably this time. I am pretty confident now that we have another girl.

The most exciting news of the day is that my c-section date has been officially scheduled. At first, my dr wanted to deliver her on November 14 which happens to be a Friday. This was not going to work, though, for a couple of reasons. First, Daniel has to work weekends, and it would not be advantageous financially to have him off work on a Friday and Saturday night. Second, I am not really keen on the idea of being in the hospital over the weekend. I want my dr to be around for me if I need her and not some on-call dr. Plus, Mondays are the best day to have a procedure done because the dr and staff are typically fresh and relaxed from the weekend instead of worn out at the end of the week looking forward to their weekend.

So, my official baby date unless she unexpectedly decides to arrive sooner will be November 17!!! I can not believe how soon that will be. I am counting down now.

The Name Game

I must say that I am thrilled to be having another little girl join our family. What is not as thrilling is the struggle to come up with yet another darling girl name. Oh, I feel like we have exhausted all of our resources to find a name that we agree on, but nothing is sticking. I have a wonderful name picked out that I think goes amazingly well with Ava and Leila. You know, for those moments when all three are getting yelled at together. You want these names to flow well together. Of course, Daniel is not as thrilled about this name choice as I am. He thinks it is "weird". I can not roll my eyes big enough at that one. I am just stuck on this name, though, to the point that I can barely think about anything else as a possibility.

Daniel likes names like Sophia and Isabella (BTW, our cat is named Bella). UGH! I do NOT want a popular name for this child. Both Madison and Ava have extremely popular names. Now, Ava's was completely unintentional. How were we supposed to know that a name would jump over 100 places in popularity the year after she was born? Anyway, I just can not bring myself to choose anything on the top 100 list.

So, he brought home all these baby name books that his boss has been so kind to let us borrow. They aren't the standard books with lists and lists of names. They are the books on picking unique names and names that work phonetically with your last name. My favorite of the pack is Cool Names for Babies which has an excellent range of different names to choose for your child. I like how it is set up in style categories. Of course, the name I love is on every list that happens to include Ava and Leila thus driving my desire to use it. Oh, I just can't win.

My hope right now is that the name will grow on Daniel. After all, he hated Ava up until the last month before she was born. He thought it was too old fashion sounding, and that no one is using it these days. Boy, has he eaten his words on that now. LOL Fingers crossed all that whispering the name in his ear while he sleeps sets in soon.

What were they thinking and keep on thinking...

A friend of mine posted a link to this hilarious list of baby products to royally screw up your children. It is one of the funniest list of crack-pot products that I can't believe anyone would think up let alone spend money to own. You can check out the list here. Maybe I could set up a funny baby registry with some of these things.

Now, there is one of the list that seemed pretty cool. Number 10 is a CD for baby lullabies of the band Metallica. While I am NOT a Metallica fan of any kind, it is cool that Rockabye Baby is taking hip grown-up music and turning into peaceful lullabies for baby. It reminds me of the Frazier Chorus' version of The Sex Pistols "Anarchy in the U.K." Sorry, it is a rare version, and I can not find it anywhere for you to hear it.

Anyway, there are a number of CD's I could see buying and loading up into my iPod to play for the baby. It is never too early to start a child's musical education of what is really good music. You would be surprised at all the music they have on their iPods now. They are learning young. Ask my kids what you say at a Ramones show, they know it. They also know that you don't dance to The Clash. All valuable lessons on what will stand the test of time for awesomeness. While I agree that list of baby products will definitely send my kids into early therapy after I catch them torturing the neighbors cat, I think the music is great.

The results are in...

Well, we had the u/s and everything looks fantastic so far. The baby is weighing an estimated 8oz. Now, I just need to figure out the rest of the weight gain after you add in the planceta, amniotic fluid, etc. Hmmmm.....

We almost did not find out the gender of our little peanut, though, because the legs were in the way. I had to go empty my bladder to get the baby moving and boy did that get some action started. They could not get the baby to stay still for any length of time. They saw the parts repeatedly for a second at a time, so they are pretty definite. They just couldn't snap a clear pic for me.

Well, it appears we are continuing with the trend of all girls in our house because we are expecting baby girl #4. We could not be more thrilled. Daniel really wanted another girl, and he got his wish. I am thrilled that my blog name stays the same!

Second OB appointment

We have a heartbeat! I am so thrilled things are going smoothly with this little baby. I had my second appointment with the OB today to check for the heartbeat. We found it right away on the ultrasound. The girls were both so thrilled to see the baby again, and they were even more thrilled that it is actually beginning to look like a baby.

My dr is so wonderful. She printed out a copy of the picture for both Ava and Leila to bring home. I can not tell you how excited they are to have their own picture of the baby. Leila actually demanded to nap with it after I had taken it away from her when I was putting her down. It was too sweet.

The dr also asked us if we wanted to do the blood test for down's syndrome and spina bifida. We declined it. We know that we would never terminate the pregnancy despite the test results, so there was really no reason to take it. Plus, the chances of it happening are so low considering my age. Why put ourselves through any of that?

Anyway, everything is looking fantastic. I took a moment to reflect today given that it is the last day that Leila will be a year old. This time two years ago, I was so pregnant and bloated waiting to have our c-section and meet our precious little girl. Now, I am at the beginning of another journey in parenthood. It is amazing to see how quickly they grow.

The first look

I had my first prenatal appointment with my OB last Wednesday. We packed up the whole family to go take our first peek at the newest family member. It is still early, but you can see the space on the left with the yolk sac still visible. I was only 5wks 4days, so you can see the cyst on my ovary, on the right, where I ovulated from. That is what produces the progesterone in early pregnancy. Everyone that has seen this picture immediately asks if I am having twins! Oh, that would have me on the floor. No, just one little peanut growing in there for now. I suppose it could be twins in one sac, but the chances of that are very small. Anyway, I go back to the doctor at 7wks 4days to see the heartbeat.

~*~*~SURPRISE~*~*~

We are adding to our gaggle of girls here! I just found out yesterday that we are expecting another baby. I know, I know, we told EVERYONE that we were completely done with the babies. We honestly thought we were. About three months ago, I had Leila in the sling, and I realized that she was suddenly getting very big for it. I started getting baby fever in a bad way. I didn't say anything to Daniel, though. I thought her would think I had absolutely lost my mind.

One Sunday two months ago, Daniel came home from work and told me that he had something to tell me. He slowly threw out there that he wanted another baby. I could not scream YES! fast enough. I was so thrilled that he wanted another, and I didn't have to talk him into it. We also decided that we were not going to tell anyone about it. Well, we at least weren't going to tell our family and most everyone else. We did let it slip to a few lucky ones.

The next day, I woke up and immediately called my OB to set up an annual exam and have my IUD removed. Apparently, it was the thing to do in January. According to my OB, I was the 14th patient she had that week getting it removed.

We tried last month, but I had only had the IUD out for a week. Most cases it takes a month for your body to regulate, and boy did mine ever regulate. UGH! Luckily, this month was successful. We are expecting a Turkey Baby. My estimated due date is November 22, but I will most likely deliver on November 17.

Soooo, will I have to change things up with my blog? Time will tell.